Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
