he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
