The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
