There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
COCAINE IS GR8
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
