1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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