Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
