hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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