just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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