Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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