Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize