I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
