highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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