My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
