What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
