I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
