i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
