just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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