So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
