Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm sobbing to NWA
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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