I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
