Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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