so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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