she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
