he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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