he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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