making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
