I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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