fuck your aforementioned shoe
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
