Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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