I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We are two peas in an std pod
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
tell me about the fingering
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize