There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
