she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
