I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
