god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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