i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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