so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
