Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
