I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Someone came in the potted fern
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
