Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
