smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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