This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
