sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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