She just used a chaser for red wine.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
