Dual....:-)
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
