arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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