Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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