On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
