he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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