you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
In America we eat man semen.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
