i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize