I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
