Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
this is an emotional support booty call
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
