I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You may now shotgun with the bride
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
