I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
