I bet he comes in French.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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