are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
