brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
