you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize