Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
