Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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